STRANGE RECORDINGS ON PATIENT CHARTS
The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
The baby was delivered, the cord clamped and cut, and handed to the paediatrician, who breathed and cried immediately.
Exam of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.
The patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life until 1989 when she got a divorce.
The patient was in his usual state of good health until his airplane ran out of gas and crashed.
The patient lives at home with his mother, father, and pet turtle, who is presently enrolled in day care three times a week.
She is numb from her toes down.
The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as stockbroker instead.
When she fainted, her eyes rolled around the room.
Examination reveals a well-developed male lying in bed with his family in no distress.
She has no rigors or chills but her husband says she was very hot in bed last night.
Whilst in Casualty she was examined, X-rated and sent home.
The patient states there is a burning pain in his penis which goes to his feet.
On the second day the knee was better and on the third day it had completely disappeared.
The patient has been depressed ever since she began seeing me in 1983.
Patient was released to outpatient department without dressing.
The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.
Discharge status: Alive but without permission.
The patient will need disposition, and therefore we will get Dr. Blank to dispose of him.
Healthy-appearing, decrepit 69 year old male, mentally alert but forgetful.
The patient has no past history of suicides.
The patient expired on the floor uneventfully.
Patient has left his white blood cells at another hospital.
The patient’s past medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days.
She slipped on the ice and apparently her legs went in separate directions in early December.
The
patient experienced sudden onset of severe shortness of breath with a
picture of acute pulmonary oedema at home while having sex which
gradually deteriorated in the emergency room.
Patient has chest pains if she lies on her left side for over a year.
He had a left-toe amputation one month ago. He also had a left-knee amputation last year.
By the time he was admitted, his rapid heart had stopped, and he was feeling much better.
The patient is a 79-year-old widow who no longer lives with her husband.
The patient refused an autopsy.
Many years ago the patient had frostbite of the right shoe.
The
patient left the hospital feeling much better except for her original
complaints.
On
the second day the knee was better and on the third day it had completely
disappeared.
Patient
was released to outpatient department without dressing.
I
have suggested that he loosen his pants before standing, and then, when he
stands with the help of his wife, they should fall to the floor.
Between
you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant.
Since
she can't get pregnant with her husband, I thought you would like to work
her up.
The
skin was moist and dry.
Occasional,
constant, infrequent headaches.
Coming
from Detroit, this man has no children.
Patient
was alert and unresponsive.
MD during a physical exam, stated, in my ear, "I am unable to arouse this woman", personally, I really don't think he should have bragged about it.
